Have you ever wanted something sooooo bad and then received zip, nata, nothing? Yeah, me too. Raise your hand if you’ve ever received the exact opposite of what you asked for. Yup, my hands are in the air too!
Now that another Mother’s Day has come and gone, I’m doing what I always do this time of year: wondering why my strong biological urge to reproduce and grow a baby hasn’t happened yet. Most of our family and friends — which includes you, sweet reader — know that Chris and I have been trying to get pregnant for over two years now. We keep planning, trying and hoping but again and again, nope! No baby for me. Some days I don’t just feel disappointed. I feel <gulp> devastated.
“Why them and not me?” is the exact opposite of an empowering question, I know. It’s a question that undermines the life of service (and joy!) Chris and I live independently and together. But when you keep trying for something that continually refuses to manifest it’s difficult not to take the universe’s delay as a denial. So what is to be done when you’re not getting what you want? We go deep. We go brave. And we accept that until we go within we’ll do without.
Here’s what I’ve learned about wanting and not getting.
Last week a friend asked why I still wanted to get pregnant (translation: why I hadn’t given up.). To my surprise I blurted out “I’m afraid I’m getting too old too fast and soon I won’t ever be able to have a baby and be a mother.” The truth hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not approaching my dream to start a family from a place of love but from a place of fear and panic. I know through my study of the Law of Attraction and Chinese Medicine that fear creates big blocks in our mind, body and spirit. When you’re in fear, you’re attracting more of what you don’t want. So here’s my post-Mother’s Day promise.
I am letting go of my fear around the future and what the universe may or may not send my way. Making a choice to focus on the beautiful blessings I already have in my life – my four beautiful stepchildren, my loving husband, our heart-centered business – I feel fulfilled and grateful. I have come to realize I can mother and nurture every child I encounter, including my own inner child; that if I’m going to mother others (today not later), I need to honor and nurture myself. Guided by this new outlook and intention, my “Why them and not me?” whine has been transformed into a joyful “How wonderful for them and for me” roar!
For the first time in a long time I feel as if I’m mothering my dreams and manifestations with love, joy and faith.
With that intention in my heart – and inside my belly! – Chris and I are taking a sabbatical starting June 4th and July 1st respectively.
LONG STORY SHORT
Chris is on sabbatical (no clients, limited classes at Morning Crane San Jose) beginning June 4th.
Parisa is on sabbatical (no clients, no classes at Morning Crane San Jose) as of July 1st.
Our NEW Morning Crane schedule for June can be viewed here.
We have some big things cooking, which we’ll share and savor with you when our dreams are fully baked.
In the meantime you’re welcome to hang out with us at our Shelton Qigong YouTube channel for clips and tips about taking care of your body, mind and spirit. Please know we care about you, love you and are forever grateful you’re in our lives. Here’s to transforming our next chapter together!
Love & Gratitude,
-Chris & Parisa Shelton